Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
