dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
