Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Come on in and take your pants off
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