sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
