That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
