After last night, I could never be a politician.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize