No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
