I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
