no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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