From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
