Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
