I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
