i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
