You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
