why didn't you poke me back
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
