wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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