Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
