I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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