I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
as a side note pls kill me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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