did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
