I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
