I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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