Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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