So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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