Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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