Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I said "one day" and that day is not today
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
