your parents love me but you hate me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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