she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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