i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize