I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
