I'm going to jail i love you
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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