if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
