I'm going to jail i love you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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