i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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