im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
