Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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