He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
