I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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