i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
