Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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