I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
