ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
