what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
