hell yes lets make some ravioli
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize