ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize