He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
