Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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