dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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