Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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