I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
