I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
