okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
