Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize