You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
