Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
