Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
