So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
