just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize