i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So much rum. So many feels.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And then the night went full on bisexual.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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