The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I believe in your delicious
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
