god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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