I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
