you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
