You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
