I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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